Do u ever feel like u deserve better than this ..than wat u r getting rite now? I do sumtimes. Honestly I know that I have been lucky in a lota ways but still I want more. And that does make me a selfish person but then aren't we all a little selfish (yes this is how i justify it all in my head to be guilt free). There's so much I want from life, I think that the list would be endless but I WANT IT PERIOD!!! I hav got just one life to live and I want it all in this lifetime so I am not gonna settle for anything less, I just won't. And why shud I? So I hav not had it easy like a lotta people I know but why shud that change wat I want. So wat if I hav to fight for the smallest things in life. I am not gonna settle for sumthing less just cos I hav 2 fight for what I want. That just ain't gonna happen....
You know wat the harder it gets the more I want it. That's me. And I know its not always gonna be this hard, I just know it. Cos I have faith in myself and I have faith in the God. I know that when things get tough he'll be standing rite next to me. Sum times when I am really low I imagine him placing his hand on my head and sayin that its gonna be ok. So I am gonna keep fighting till my last breath if thats wat it takes 2 get there...
The thing with me is my high's are really high (if that makes any sense) and my lows are so low that I'd probably reach the core of the earth if I go any lower (if that makes any sense again). Things need to be evenly distributed man.......God if ur listening! I am not sayin reduce the no. of lows I am just sayin just mix them up a lil with the high's u know it'll make things easier.
I feel like like I just wanna go away from here and not cum bak for lil while. If it wasn't for my sis i'd probably do it without givin it a 2nd thot. I am gonna do it now too I have to but I hav 2 make sure she's fine 1st. I want her to stand up for herself and I know as long as I am around I'll kinda end up doin it for. I want her to be a strong person like a 100 times stronger than I have ever been..do parents ever let go of their kids? I think they shud cos thats the only way they'll grow by learning from their own mistakes. And that's exactly wat I am gonna do..... So stick around god cos I kinda hav a feelin its gonna be a bumpy ride ahead for a lil while atleast:-)
