The Other Job

I have been doin this part time thing in the evening as an internship/ volunteer work for a small marketing firm run by the Ugoslavian lady I had mentioned in one of my earlier blogs. And its finally about to get over, thank god for that cos doin two jobs was kinda breakin my back. That is also one the reasons why I am bak to my anorexic weight (U appreciate weight loss so much more when u actually work for it lol!!). But I hav had sum awesome times at this place and met sum amazing people....Starting with the women who runs this place, must be like in her mid sixties for sure. Now the things with Yugolavian/ Serbian's is that they spit all over ur face when they talk cos of the accent I am guessin. The first time we spoke I was drenched but then as time passed by I learned to angle my face to avoid the spit rain and and well the other times I didn't mind washin my face every time I spoke to her....lol! Ya I know its soundin gross, well wat do I say it kinda is;-) So anyways this women has a son whose workin India now and she has been tryin to convince me to marry him for some reason cos according to her I am a smart Indian girl who needs man...LOLLLLS! (Ya one more person in the list of people tryin to get me married). She's even shown me a pic of him and said- well now he has become a lil "moti". Ya she knows a lil hindi cos her late husband was an Indian. And she has an amazing story of how she married him which she plans to write a book on sumday, so well I don't want any copyright issues:) Anyways so everytime I'd go to work she'd cook sum Indian dish - Tandoori Chicken or Biryani and get it for me, talk about havin a nice boss AND she even had one of those aren't u lonely here, don't u miss ur family in India conversations with me....super lol!!! She recently got this adorable dog Milliee (the name means darling in serbian). And well lets just say this dog is the reason I have overcome my fear of dogs cos I luv Millu, he's a cutie (ya he'a HE) and he luvs my roties. He'd follow me around everywhere, I wud actaully hav to ask sum1 to hold him when I had to use the loo cos he'd want to follow me there as well. Now that I am leavin the place all I can think is I won't get to play with that cutie pie:( Also this place has interns from different parts of the world and I can't tell u the cultures I have been exposed to workin here....I even went to Couture fashion week baby. Ya don't get too excited, fashion shows and I hav a lil bad history and lets just say the story continued here as well...lol!

Everytime I am gonna think of New York - I am so gonna think of this women cos she epitomizes everything that New York is- a blend of different cultures, small businesses struggling to survive, people accepting those who are new here and everyone dreaming of makin it big one day:)

P.S- Thats a pics of Millie:)

The Hardest Part.....

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part

I WANNA GO BACK !!!

Just got bak from my 1st vacation in a like a year I can't tell u how relaxed I am rite now. This was so well deserved and timed ....cos things had been super hectic for the last couple of weeks. I went to visit my darlin Shaista and man it felt sooo awesome to see her after 3 years .... time flies na!!

I had completely forgotten how it feels to have sum1 take care of you, Shaista is one of those few people on this planet who lemme be the kid and don't mind being the grown up....It feels gr8 to hav sum to take care of u......this is sooo a must hav in the person that I end up with - he shud be willing to take care of me. I like being pampered but when ur the eldest sibling u just end up takin care of every1 and no1 takes care of u:(
Another major requirement from the guy I end up with - he shud like me more than I like him, thats a tip that Shaista gave me actually. And considerin the fact that she's talkin with experience I'll take her word for it:)

OMG I soo din't feel like cumin bak, she almost had to force me to get on the flight. I did try my best to get her and her husband to adopt me but to no avail ....and now we get bak to our routine life, I WANNA GO BACK!!! ...I am soo givin the I am sad pout as I am typin this:(

The Cab Ride

Its almost midnite and I am exhausted but I have to write this down b4 I forget about it completely and once u read about it u'll realize why.....

SO things have been super busy at work lately and yesterday things just went to another level....anyways it got super late and b4 I knew it was 12.45 pm and we realized its high time we left for home. I take the train home but my colleagues just won't let me and I was forced to take a cab. So a colleague of mine calls a cab service and this cab shows up, now my work place has the worse location ever imagine Dharavi only its under a bridge (ya I know talk about livin the American dream) anyways so the cab guy shows up and he's this gora/Spanish lookin guy with all sorts of tattos and piercings over his body and I am super paranoid so I almost feel like refusing to get into the cab. But then I don't wanna act like a baby so I do get in the cab and I immediately call my roomate and tell her to stay on the phone with me till I reach home. Ok so I know I am sounding like a chickhen rite now but in my defense I hav never taken a cab to work ever so I don't even know the way by road and it was like past mid night and there wasn't a single car on the road. Bak to the story... so I am on the phone with my roomate whose also an Indian and I am tellin her how I had a bad day at work and all of a sudden this guy pulls the cab aside and I start freakin out and tellin my roommate- god why did he pull up, WHY DID HE PULL UP!!! and I ask him if everythings ok and he starts the cab again, so by this time my paranoia level has reached it peak and I am tryin to read every road sign possible to know which direction we are goin in. Meanwhile my roommates still on the phone and I am telling her things like " pata nahi yeh kuan se sunsaan raste se leke jaa raha hai". Finally I spot a place close to my house and I tell my roomie- I'll reach in 5 mins cum down with the money (ya din't even hav money to pay the cab --wat?? cabs are expensive here, also one of the reasons why I have never taken one to work ever). And as soon as I hang up this cab guy is like" so wat happened, ur car broke down" and I tell him that is was just a late day at work.....then he ask me the usual "where u from" to which I reply the obvious " India". And then he asks me the unusual where in India and in my head I am thinkin does he even know places in India, and I reply Bombay (I like it better than Mumbai) to which he says the shocking " Ohh aap Mumbai se ho" and my mouth just open in shock cos this is a gora lookin guy ok and thru out and I mean thru out the freakin cab ride I was paranoid and I sayin stuff like -Meri phat rahi hai, blah blah .......all in hindi to my roommate. Finally I manage to say " Aap ko hindi aati hai" and he's like -ya I am from Punjab in India. He didnt look like he cud be from India at all ok, it turned out his dad was from Punjab and hi Mom was an American which kinda explains his gora looks and this kid lives in Punjab for like 6 months of the year and he even had an India ke flag ka tatto amongst the other hundred ...lol! Ya this info and more he gave me in 5 mins .....OMG but the entire episode wa so funny ...I payed him and then b4 he left I said Sat Sri Akal (good bye in Punjabi) and he blushed and said the same bak......And as soon as I got in the house I told my roommate and we burst into a laughter non stop for like 30 mis. Cos the kinda shit I was tell her thruout the cab ride - this guy must be laughin all the while.....it was hilarious. The are soo many Indians na In New York , New Jersey the god damn language advantage now ceases to exists anymore....

So anyways I was just talkin to my brother and he's like remember this incident so that everytime ur low u think of it and smile and well wat better way to remember sumthing than writin about it ....

To My So Called Friend...

WARNING: If u like this blogger I suggest u don't read this blog cos the bitch is on fire and she will spare no one..

So we are friends now, if u say so.......we are sooo NOT!! I sooo did not wanna do this cos its just makin me think of all those things I worked so hard to forget and now its bak like a ghost in my attic to haunt me again. A lot of time has passed and yes I am over it but u know wat somebody treatin me like shit will always be a big f***** deal. And if I let u bak in my life now I am sayin its ok to treat me like shit which is NOT!!! About u bein sorry, well 1st of all I never read the god damn word Sorry anywhere. And u know me its all about the word. No its not!!! I have learned to trust my instincts and they say u are not and u never were.......When sum1's sorry u just know that they are cos their conscious just doesn't let them live with it and they do watever it takes to hunt that person down and let that person know how sorry they are.....U are the reason I am a cynical untrusting bitch today (yes I believe in giving people all the credit that they deserve) and I generally don't trust any1 anymore. I don't think I am even capable of trusting u cos - Trust and Me, well we just don't get along anymore. I don't share my thots with any1 and people who matter aren't discussed with sum1 who doesn't. I am too guarded to do that.....So my friend I will never share anything wid u......so we won't really have anythin 2 talk abt

U just disappeared on me, do u know how shitty it feels when the 1st person u think of every morning and the last person u talk to every nite doesn't even acknowledge ur presence, do u hav any f***** clue how shitty it feels when u find out that the person u spend being hopelessly in luv wid for like 5 years din't take a week to get over u cos well "he had other options". U DON'T......when u left I was down in the dumps not cos of us I just was generally in life and if u were really a good friend u wud hav realized that and stuck around, but u din't. I worked hard and build a life for myself on my own without ever depending on anyone (cos u taught me not to ever depend on any1 ever again.....I told u I'll give u all the credit u deserve) and u know wat I am happy with where I am today (I mite not be so happy abt the person that I am...but thats not the point) so there is no way in hell I will get sucked in that world of ur's all over again and loose myself.....besides if u aren't there wid me in my crappy times then honestly I don't need u in my good times, that is my general funda in life and it applies to every1.............Also I soo do not wanna do the whole he said, she said thing which is soo bound to happen if we talk.

I don't know wat the hell is goin on with u, but u obviously must be goin thru a not so happy phase rite now cos honestly I can't think of any other reason why u'd wanna get in touch wid me. Watever it is u are goin thru u'll get over it OK, pls for once in ur life deal with stuff on ur own and don't seek sum1 to be there for u emotionally like always. U are a grown up now its high time u learn to be emotionally independent. We all have our low phases and we get through them and so will u, so just hang in there......deal with it on ur OWN. Trust me u don't wanna get to know the vindictive bitch that I have become today, its for ur own good. I'd rather prefer u remember me as the nice person that I was......but she's not here any more so u'll only get disappointed.

I don't think I am capable of sayin these things to ur face, no clue why so I am bloggin about it. And I am not very happy about it........if I mite add. I have asked u specifically not to read my blog but in case, just in case if u still are the jackass that u always were, u aren't really gonna listen and if that is the case then I just wanna say - I hope u lost sum weight......

P.S- How hard is it to say the word SORRY!!

The Good, the bad and the ugly;(

I don't know how this happened but literally within 48 hours I have gone from luvin my life to being so pissed I cud so kick sum1's ass rite now just for the heck of it....

So lets start with the luvin my life part first cos well I have a short term memory and I don't wanna 4get that awesome day. So one of the company's that I am workin for is into Art Handling. For those who are wonderin wat the hell it is well google it! Anyways I was sittin in this meeting a couple of weeks back and every1 out there was admiring this ad campaign by a competitor and when I looked at it all I saw was a black background with a white circle on it which had sum stuff scribbled all over it. It turned out it was a very well known painting which I had no clue about cos well I am kinda Art Illiterate if I may say so....So any ways after that I decided to get a lil Arty cos well I don't wanna get fired and this weekend I got these tickets to this Art Event that we were sponsoring and I decided to go....It took me forever to get there for starters and I am still figurin out the whole subway trains thingy in New York so kind got lost but when I finally reached there - well lets just say the hours journey was sooo worth it. I think I have never missed Suhani more cos this is soo the kinda thing I'd end up goin with her.....Anyways saw sum super great stuff there and I thot I'd write about this stuff once I had my photgraphy blog up but I am tryin to use wordpress this time and I am still figuring it out so well wat the heck rite....Anyways I had an awesome time and on my way back as I walked past a window display and saw my reflection in it...and for the very first time ever I felt wow I luv my life. I hav always envied sum1 or the other for havin a better life than me but in that moment I felt like THIS IS what I've always wanted. I must say the awesome weather this weekend definetly lifted my spirits. Winter is finally getting over I am glad but I am also kinda sad cos well i just bought two pairs of boots which are pretty much gonna get wasted:(

So now gettin back to why I am soo pissed well I can't do the whole marriage thing I just can't I am tryin to be all cool about it but well I am faking it. I was hopin that if I pretend to want it I'll end up wanting it...well I was sooo wrong cos I just don't. I just cannot trust a guy ever again its beyond me and I am not capable of it so no point wasting my time on it. Nuthins even happened yet and I've already started feelin stuck and claustrophobic. People do it, good for them, I am just not one of those people. I know in the long run I'll regret it but rite now its not gonna happen.......Also I am just havin a super hard time gettin along with sum people and well its beginning to get on my nerves. I just wanna tell them--SCREWWWWWWW UUUUU ALLL!!!!! I feel so much better after typin that cos well I can't say it to their face, don't ask me why?

For those who are wonderin wats with the image, this was actually on of the displays at the exhibition (told u they had sum cool stuff) and is also my cells walllpaper these days....well thats hows mad I am rite now!!

I Finally Have the Answer!!

Ok so I remember posing this question on my blog- Why do men continue to be in relationships with women they don’t wanna end up with?

I have asked this question to many guys and most of them gave me the crappy - "cos we are men, we are made like this" kinda answers but I finally got an honest answer today. See this guy at work has been sayin he wants to break-up with his girlfriend for weeks now and has been getting a lota flake from me for it as well. So today he gave me the answer that I have been lookin for 4ever now- He said she’s the sweetest girl he’s ever known and she has a lotta stuff in her life that is not goin her way rite now and she’s crazy about him. He cannot imagine how heart broken she will be and if she will be able to take it at all cos in his on words, "I am the perfect boyfriend"

I was kinda left speechless when he told me this, which by the way is very rare cos I always have sumthing to say. So it turns out not all men are jerks as I thot they were. Now about women not being able to deal with heartbreaks well lemme put it this way- Just cos women cry more doesn’t mean they are weak it just means we feel better after we cry when we are down, men on the other watch a football match to feel better (no clue how that helps....maybe it just gets out their aggression). A guy once told me getting those kidney stones out of my body was the hardest thing I have ever done and I thot in my head well u think soooo then imagine getting a child out of ur body!!! Bottom line- If God thinks women can take childbirth then she can handle anything, its only when u put a women to test do u realize how strong she is……

So for all those guys out there wondering if she will be able to take it, trust me she will and in most cases better than u!!!

P.S- I was sooo singing “Strength of a Women” by Shaggy when I wrote this blog:)