I hav lost it !!!!

I think i hav lost my mind completely. I hav been hit by the baby fever. I jus really want a baby. I am sounding so stupid rite now. I went shopppin the other day and i was actually lookin at baby clothes which by the way were soooooooooooooooo cute! Thats not it, a couple of days bak we went to this family friends place and they hav a son who must be around 6-7 years old. He was so adorable, he was talkin like a grown up, showin me his drawing books and all . I jus completelly feel in in luv with. When the time came to leave i swear i felt like cryin i jus wanted to take him home with me. Everytime i look t a baby i jus feel like tkin them in my arms and gettin them home with me. Wat the hell is wrong with me ??
I jus think maybe thats it u know thats wats i am gonna need to feel complete in life. A baby and a dog is all i am gonna need. Who the hell need a boyfriend or a husband. They jus ruin things anyways. I'll adopt a baby and get a little Labrador puppy who by the way i'll name simba and thats gonna be it i guess.( Ya i know wat u r thinkin no name for the baby but the name for the puppy has already been decided. ).
And this is exactly why i feel i hav lost my mind....

I hav gotten so lazy these days....there's no end to my laziness. I get at up at around 12 in the afternoon and jus laze around the whole day. I can't wait to leave now. Also i hav realized that late nights with certain friends is fun only when we are all drunk. I hav left alcohol indefinetly. (The last time i got drunk i ended up sayin sum really nasty things to this friend of mine and the worse part was i cudn't remember wat i had said. So no alcohol for now -Never say never rite.) Anyways cumin bak to the nite out. All of us decided not 2 drink and so we sat there starin at each other's faces which were pretty blank (normally we crack up silly jokes which in the drunk state we find super funny). And then we ended up havin this serious discussion about sum shit topic which i havnt bothered to remember. Actually i do lil bit, it was sumthing on the lines of guys are like and girls are like that. So basically wat was supposed to be a fun nite turned out to be super boring. Man growing up and being responsible sux !!

I think i hav had a good life so far (touchwood). I have met sum amazin people and hav made sum amazin friends. People hav been really sweet and nice to me and i want to remember these things forever specially when i am down..

The sweetest thing sum1's ever told me- My friend Puneet once told me " I guy wud hav to be a complete fool not to want to be with u" . It was a typical sooooooooo sweet moment.

The sweetest thing sum1's ever done for me- There r so many where do i even start

1. My baby sis got this fake diamond set for me when she went for a trip in school. She must hav been like 11-12 then.
2. When i was movin to States my best friend came and stayed with me for like a week and she finally left the nite i was suppose to leave , i was crying like a baby. But her entire family came to meet me a couple of hours later and i was soo happy to see them all.
3. When i quit my job and just had week left at work my colleagues were like super nice to me. They made me fell super special even though we hadn't worked together for a very long time. Infact on my last day we all went out and they got me a cake and presents i was soo happy. Thinkin abt them always gets a smile on my face.

There are so many more but these are the ones i really like thinkin abt.

29/06/08

I don't know abt u but God sure listens to me. I wanted a lil baby in my house and guess wat god gave me one. My Bhabi had an adorable lil baby boy 2day. And he wasnt even due yet. So i am a bua now:-)

The World Can't Bring Me Down

Yes its the spiritual me again. I feel like a whole new person these days (touchwood). I am off to meet my brother in a couple of days and i am super excited. All the reading that i have been doing has really done me a lot of good. This blog is for the young kids out there who feel like they aren't worthy of bein loved.
The reason why i am writing this blog is cos i was one them a couple of years back.

As we get older we realise that a lot of people are trying to put us down, make us feel like we arn't good enough. But thats how things work in this world of ours. The key is to believe in yourself no matter what any1 says. Know yourself well enough so that you know wat your weaknesses are and work on them. If you know yourself well enough you'll know wat to listen to and wat to ignore. Nobody is perfect but u are a smart peson if you constantly work to improve yourself. I remember this conversation i had with a person i was really close to where he told me that " you are too stupid to think for yourself so thats why i have to tell you wat to do". I think i'll remember it for the rest of my life. Its only now i realize that i don't need friends like these who try to put me down at every opportunity they get. It very important to surround yourself with positive people.
There was this game that everybody at my work played and i jus wanted to see wat the whole fuss was about so i tried my hand at it too. I enjoyed it a lot and one day i decided that i am goin to have the highest score in this game. So i played it day in and day out. I played it when i was at work i played it when i was at home until finally i got the highest score. This actually helped me realize that i can achieve anythin in life if i jus put my mind to it. I never really bothered to ask if sombody beat my score (i like to believe i am the undefeated champ). The point of this story is that if i can so can u. So wat if nobody believes in your dreams, so wat if nobody thinks that u have it in u. Like Will Smith said in the movie The Pursuit of Happiness - Don't let anybody tell that u can't do sumthing. Protect your dreams. People tell you that u can't do it cos the truth is they themselves can't do it. ( Sumthing like that )

People can't wait to fall in love these days. But the truth is before you luv sum1 else you have to luv yourself. Like i said nobody is perfect but work on yourself and be the person that you hav the potential to be. If you don't luv yourself then how can u expect sum1 else to? Sum1 has a big nose, sum1 has bad eyesight & sum1 has a big forehead. Accept everything about yourself and don't give a damn when sum1 points it out. Because at the end of the day there is more to each one of us than we appear and all of us are unique in sum way or the other. Trust me when i say this that if you can't be happy by yourself you'll never be happy even when u hav sum1. Be the best person u can be and live every single day like its your last.

We all have to go thru hardtimes. But thats jus god's way of helpin us grow as human beings. I can honestly say that i felt i grew more as a person in hardtimes than it good ones. These times jus test how strong your are as a person and get the best out of you. I luv this line from the movie Rocky Balboa- Its not about how hard you get hit but its about how you pick yourself up everytime you get hit really hard.
(watchin good movies and reading good books, i am soo livin the life). I think a person who doesn't learn anything from his mistakes is the biggest fool. Learn from your mistakes, move on and don't fret about it.

I wanna end this blog with this beautiful song by Christina Aguilera

Everyday is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain,
I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness,
The pieces gone,
Left the puzzle undone,
Ain't that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, no, no
Cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring you down, oh, no
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what we say
(no matter what we say)
We're the song inside the tune
(yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
(and everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine
(sun will always, always shine)
But tomorrow we might awake
On the other side

'Cause we are beautiful,
No matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down...
Mmm, today

I am sellin my Ferrari..

This vacation has turned out better than i expected. Finally i am gettin the time to read all the books that i hav always wanted. For starters i just finished readin The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. Though i had read the book earlier but sum how this time it just made more sense. I think its all abt timing. I am in a good place personally rite now where jus wanna try to be the best person i can be. And my spiritual side has completely taken over. I think my belief in God almighty is reinforced further with every passing day. I hav tried to work on myself and be a better person in the past as well, but then it was always for sum1. First it was for my family and then it was for the person i fell for but this time its just for ME. All those who know me will agree when i say that my self confidence has increased tremendously in the past year or so but sumwhere i feel there is still a long way to go. We all have sum insecurities but i want to reach a stage where i hav none. Also i jus want to rid myself of all the negativity so i hav worked to be able to forgive every1 who has ever done me wrong and i am almost there. I think sumwhere i had stopped growin as a person but in the last 2 years i feel like i started to grow again. Ans it feels gr8. Back to the book now. There are sum parts in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari which are truly amazing and true to a gr8 extent. I hope i jus always remember these things i read cos i want to apply them in my day-2-day life.
I really luv this quote from the book..

'There are no mistakes in life,only lessons. There is no such thing as a negative experience, only

opportunities to grow, learn and advance along the road of selfmastery.

From struggle comes strength. Even pain can be a wonderful teacher.'

Another one of my favorite's is..

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all of your thoughts break their

bonds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find

yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you

discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

Also the try this mantra when u r down - There is more to me than what appears, all the powers of the world rest within me. Trust me it works. I think its an amazing book and definetly a must read. The death bed technique is sumthing that i am really gonna try and follow. I saw an interview of the author of the book Robin Sharma sumtime bak and when u'll look at him u'll realise that he's actually practising wat he's preachin. He jus looks like on e of those monks described in the book.

My results for the 2nd sem came out and they were better than i expected. I hav been consistent but now its time to grow and test my limits.