Who am i ?

I soooo shudn't be writin a blog rite now ( exams startin in a couple of days) but then wat the heck.
Well this thot jus occurred to me the other day that if i die tomm my biggest regret wud be that i really didn't serve my purpose on this planet. I didn't really do anythin to make this planet a better place to live in...

But then wat really is my purpose and how do i make difference? Honestly i am clueless. But this excuse isn't good enough any more. I hav been gettin this strong urge to start workin on sumthin that i really believe in for sumtime now. I think i have wasted enough time on piety things in life already. I mean when u cum to think of it all that time we hav wasted on stupid relationships,etc. etc..in the end it doesn't even matter wat matters is did we make a difference, did we do anything to that we'll be remembered for when we die. I don't know about u but i sure havnt done anything like that as yet. And that sux bigtime!!

There is no guarantee that even after this realization i'll end doin sumthing cos i think most of us who want to make a difference end up gettin caught sumwhere in this web of a materialistic world that surrounds us. And thats sad.

For me i think before i realize wats my purpose i need to figure out who i really am and wat do i really want from life. I hav changed a lot in this last one year. Some of the changes hav been good and some bad. I hav lost my innocence forever. And i dont hav the ability to trust people easily either. I think for me it was easy to get over the broken relationship wat was hard to get over were the after effect of it. I hated the fact that i had changed as person cos of it. And no matter how hard i tried i cudn't go bak to being the same old me. But its only now that i hav realised that the changes were also cos i was growing old. I am no longer a girl, i am a young women today. I think i hav matured as a person as well. And these factors hav definetly contributed to bring about changes in me. I wonder i i'll ever figure myself out completely. To find your purpose its important to know who u really are. We are all on this journey of self discovery in a way aren't we? I jus hope i reach there before its too late....

The Boy I Luv...

Now this is a story about a boy i know and luv more than i can even describe in words..

Once upon a time there was a lil boy, he wasn't very good at studies but he loved playing with his friends. Some people said he was a little slow others said he jus wasn't interested in studies. The lil boy tried very hard he just cudn't spell words rite. The lil boy hated it when the tuition teacher wud let his elder sister go home early and he had to stay bak. But his sister luved him too much to go and play without him so she'd sit outside the teacher's house for hours waitin for him. And when finally he was allowed to go they both raced home to freedom. The boy was often scolded by his father for not being as good as the rest of the kids in the family. He tried to explain to people around him that he's tryin as hard as he can but no1 seemed to understand. On day the tuition teacher informed his parents that she was movin away and so they will hav to find sum1 else. They asked a couple of their friends and found one in their neighborhood. The boys friend from school went there and he was glad that he'd get to hang out with his friend. So he and his fat lil sister went off to a new teacher. But this teacher was different, she didnt yell at him or hit him. Infact she was kind and compassionate. She seemed to understand the two better than their own mother. So they called her AAI which means mother in marathi. The kids luved spendin time with aai, they wud spend all their time after school at her place. She wud cook food for them, let them watch Tv and even allowed them to dance away on music. Aai realized that the boy had a problem and she spoke to her husband who was doctor abt it. He told her about learning disabilities that sumtimes kids can hav. And aai immediately realized that, thats wat the boy had. But now she had to inform the parents about it. So she suggested to the lil boy's mother one day that maybe they shud get him tested for learnin disabilities. The boy's father refused. He jus didn't wanna accept the fact that maybe his child had problem. But aai wudn't give up easily and finally the father relented.

The boy indeed did hav a learnin disabilty called ' Dyslexia'. In those times it was completely unheard of. So people started called the boy retarded. They ridiculed the lil guy and called him things like stupid and handicap. This affected the boy so much that he failed his exams. But this turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The boys father refused to let his child repeat a year and so got him admitted in another school. This school was smaller than the other one and the boy was scared to make new friends. This school even had girls, his older one was a boys school. The boys parents discussed his condition with his new teachers and found out that many students in his class had the same problem. The boy made a new friend he lived close by and he too suffered from Dyslexia. All of a sudden he didn't feel as lonely. Infact he luved his new school. He grew by leaps and bounds and as he grew up his confidence increased. People stopped called him retarded now. He had grown upto be a confident young man with an amazin personality.

This young man faced one of the biggest challenges of his life when his parents decided to leave him and his lil sister in the US with their relatives when he was jus 17. Now he did want to live the American dream like most of us but not like this. Here he was with no money and a little sister who had to look after. But he wasn't the kind of person who'd give up that easily. He got a job at a 711 store and got his sister admitted in a school there. He wanted to study further as well but as he had no money and he cudn't go to a good university unless he had a scholarship. So he joined a community college. He took care of his younger sister better than their parents ever did. Infact at 17 he became a parent to her. His elder sister who was bak in India felt guilty for leavin the two alone there ,so a year later she came to take them bak. It broke his heart but he let the younger one go bak with her cos deep inside he knew she'd be better off.
But he refused to go cos he had promised himself that he wudn't leave unless he became sumthin.
He moved out of his relatives place. And gave his best at school and at work. The young man wore a turban now and because of that findin a job wasn't easy for him in the US. He faced a lot of discrimination but nuthin cud deter him. He did beat all odds and managed to get a call from his dream university. But they weren't givin him a full scholarship and he cudn't afford to pay their fee so he had to let this golden opportunity go.

Now don't worry folks cos he didnt give up and jus a couple of days bak he got a call from a university that actually trains engineers for NASA. And he can afford this place so he's takin it!!!!!!!!
The lil boy with Dyslexia who people called retarded is now studyin to be an Aerospace engineer.
And my heart swells with pride every time i talk about him cos he's my lil brother..............

Karan (thats his name) is the most amazin brother ever (touch wood). I jus can't imagine my life without him. I think i hav learned more from than anyboby else. He has this resilient spirit. And he is the friendliest guy ever. He has gone thru so much shit at such a young age but he's not bitter at all. He's so mature for his age that inspite of being the older one i always go to him for advice. When he moved to the states, i just felt so lost. I jus didn't feel like cumin home at all. He was my best friend who lived with me. But he realised that and called me regularly and does even now. I jus pray to god that he gets everything he deserves and so much more. They say gr8 people have predefined destinies and i know that Karan is one of them......

P.S- thats Karan in the pic lookin all nice and dashin on his B'day.