My grandmother passed away yesterday. And i am just feelin really low. I am not sure why......I was not really close to her. Infact as a child i thot that she didn't like me. I don't know why i am so mad rite now. I think a part of me just feels that maybe i shud hav atleast made an effort to hav a relationship with her. I think i always thot i will sumday in the future and now there is no future. Also the fact that i didn't really visit her much in her last days has filled me with immense guilt. I think i am sad not because she passed away it think its more because of the way she died. God i wudn't wish a death like this to my worse enemy. She was suffering soo much, she wud just keep screaming and cursing cos of the immense pain. In the end i think every1 was just waiting for her to die. Honestly i didn't think that , not even when i went to see her on her last day. But that changed a couple of hours later when the doctor told us that she had very lil time left. All of us surrounded her on her bed. And everybody just kept askin has she left us yet. Thats when i wished and i prayed and called my daarji ( my grandad who left us 10 yrs bak) to just take her now. I saw her breathe her last breath. I did cry when they took her for cremation but then i am a cry baby so thats kinda given. But it was because i realised wat had becum of her. God just pls don't let any1 die like this ever again. I read this in the paper today and it just made so much sense-
" Life neither begins nor ends anywhere. It's eternal. Wat we call life is just an association with a certain body. And wat we call death is nothing but getting out of the body and that concept. Life is never ending; death is just a part of it. Actually death is a process of continuous revival. a means of resurrection!"
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