Random Thoughts

So I have been tryin to dodge the marriage bullet for sumtime now......I mean why do I hav 2 do this. I am not ready to grow up yet and think about savings, kids, in-laws, contraceptives, blah blah ...... I am just a kid, atleast in my head I am. I see people around me in relationships- ya ok so they don't ever have to got to the mall by themselves but they are struggling to make time to hang out with their friends, siblings, or just to pamper themselves. I am not done pamperin myself or my siblings yet. When I went to visit my friend last weekend she said -I hav never seen u happier, u havn't stopped smiling since u set foot in my house.......and it was such an aww moment cos it meant a lot cumin from her well since she's seen me all frustrated cos of a lota stuff in life, wat if marriage ends up ruin this:(....So I was wondering when can a female stop callin herself a girl. I mean I am 25 now...am I a girl or do I now fall in the women category??? Someone said its an age thing, my roomate said once ur a mom ur a women and well another friend of mine said that once ur married ur a women....I am not really convinced with any of these answers so if u hav a better answer then lemme know......I want to believe I am a girl until my weight stays within the 45 to 55 kg range:-P

Anyways back to the marriage thing- WHY GOD WHY ME????

I mean I am not a -think about the Future person, this F word is forbidden in my head it freaks me out and leads to anxiety attacks;-P. If I had to make a list of the weirdos my parents have been sendin my way, well lets just say it wud a very funny list........ok so here's the deal I know I am in denial but its time to cum out now. SO here it is- I am Commitment Phobic. My way of life and my choice of men clearly reflects this. And its not thats I can't dodge this marriage thing anymore cos trust me I can its just that its not fair to my folks.....so how the hell do I get over this fear of being suffocated in a relationship????? When I think of relationships I think of a closed room without any windows...this is soo not good;-( I dunno why I feel like once u get married u don't have fun in life anymore, and I have had my share of fun and I shud be like I am over that phase but the thing is I am not. I have given my parents every shitty excuse possible to avoid this but now I hav to put a stop to this, I just have to..... so anyways was arguing with my mom over the phone the other nite (yes moms don't care if u are in another continent, they'll hunt u down to pester you) and well guess who showed up AGAIN!!! I swear if this happens one more time I am soo gonna be writin my next blog from a jail cell....

SO for those of u wonderin man she has been bloggin a lot lately well -the last month has been seriously crappy, I hav been workin my ass off, I didn't get the raise I was expecting, not been gettin along with sum people at work, my Guddu's havin her exams, I hav been missin my friends like crazy and well I have already spent way too much money on ISD calls;(