Trying to figure out this life...........

I don't know y but i think i am jus pushin people away from me. All those who care are jus driftin away. And i know i am the one to be blamed. Sometimes i jus don't know who this person is in my body so unlike who i really am. The thing is i can't figure out wat i am doin wrong. I guess i jus take things too seriously. I wish i was more easy going.

For a very longtime now i have been blaming the past for what i hav becum today, but i think its high time i take responsibility for my actions. So where i do start?

I really miss being the trusting person that i was once upon a time. I sux being this person who now doubts every1's intentions. I feel like i hav build this wall which is like a fortress around my heart. And no1's allowed to enter, infact those who lived here hav been thrown out. All this jus to make sure i don't get hurt again. No ones even given the benefit of doubt. No emotional attachment or dependence on any1.They say time heals everything...but i am still waiting. And i don't see any signs of that happening in the near future. If only there was a way to erase the past from my mind.

I think the most valuable thing that we have is our innocence and once u loose it there's no way of getting it back. Its time to change......i don't know how, but it time. I read this sumwhere " What you are today will help you become what you wish to be tomorrow".

I just really need to figure things out & make them right b4 everybody who cares ends up hating me. The million dollar question is, how?