I really need to clear my head. I am so confused rite now i can't even tell u. See i thot i had this all figured out. Well it turns out i was obviously very wrong. Everything was goin fine until i bumped into my bothers friend. We were exchangin the usual pleasantries when he mentioned that he got engaged and thats when i got to thinkin....this guy by the way is three years younger than me and HE'S ENGAGED!!!! I can't help thinkin that these bachha log are gettin married and hell i am not even seein any1. Not that i want to. There are various reasons as to why i don't want to.....the 1st being i really don't want to divert my attention from my studies rite now ( Yes I am a geek get over it!) and the 2nd one is that i havn't met any1 i wud feel like bein with (and even if i do he'd hav wait for my MBA to get over). Anyways the point here is I personally am not in a place where i'd want marriage but all of a sudden i hav started feelin this immense peer pressure.
As per my calculations the rite time for me to meet sum1 wud be a year from now. But wat if i don't meet sum1. Then wat? I'd hav to go for an arranged marriage which i really don't want to. And by the time i decide to go for an arrange marriage i'd be too old for my community standards and then i'll have to settle for an old hag ( its bad enough that he'd be a sardar). So basically i am screwed. And guess wat i jus realised that i wasted bloody 6 six goddamn years on that full of shit ex boyfriend of mine and wat if the next one turns out like him as well or even worse. That wud be another 6 years down the drain . And i will be an old hag myself by then..............phew!!!!!!!!!!!
So basically the only way out here is to find sum1 NOW!!! But i don't wanna do that......so wat the heck am i supposed to do?????? I was jus talkin abt this whole thing with a friend of mine and she said i shud join sum club u know to meet new people but i am not that desperate so i am obviously not doin that. But u know wat that man fast that i have been on is officially over. GOD JUST HELP ME OUT HERE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't tell u how restless i have been thinkin about these crappy thots i barely slept last night. U know the worse part is that i am a loser + jerk magnet, there hasn't been a single one of this combination that i havn't attracted. Also the thing about marriage is i don't know if i am marriage material. I am a stubborn ass who'll never adjust. And most importantly my parent's not so gr8 marriage and my Oh so disgusting last relationship have together contributed to me being completely averse to relationships in general. Cud i be more confused?.......i don't think so. My head is spinning......
The basic question here is shud i listen to my heart here or my head ? Shud i stick to the societal norms or shud i just do wat i feel like ? My heart says hav faith u'll meet Mr. Right sooner or later, my head says that stupid heart has already caused u a lot of pain so just take the easy road here and just let your family find sum1 for u without wastin any more time. I don't really listen to my parents actually, never have and probably never will. They jus don't get me so i just wonder how can sum1 who barely knows me find the rite person for me. And most importantly wat about my dream of travellin around the world. I don't wanna be tied down to sum1 when i do that. I really hav no clue about wat i shud do next........
U know wat screw it i am jus gonna do wat i had planned b4 i met this stupid guy!!!!!
2 comments:
hahahahahah simi ... u of all pppl is never goin 2 turn into an old hag !!!!! dont worrry ... things will fall into place and al wil be rockin .... dont take too much load !!!! me too is in the same boat and many like us :)
Thanx Malike, seems like u r the only person who gets me these days:-)
Post a Comment