Don't be your own Bully!!

OK so I can't believe I am finally writing this blog, I have been procrastinating it for like 4ever now. There are a lot of reasons why I havn't had the balls to write this blog yet. This is sumthing I had 4 gotten about actually and just recently I met sum1 who's been thru it and after talkin 2 her I felt like I have 2 write this blog....

I don't know how many of you hav heard about " Emotional Abuse" but once you find out wat it is I am sure u'll realize u know sum1 who's been thru it.

Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance,” “teaching,” or “advice,” the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones.

This is actually a very apt description of emotional abuse I found online. I think when sum sumone's been thru emotional abuse they sumwhere just completely loose themselves. And when the relationship gets over they feel completely lost they just have no clue what to do with themselves. Also there are a lota chances that Emotional Abuse can turn violent later. I think it all starts when u want to please the person u are with. You take their opinion for everything cos they matter, when they criticize u abt sumthing initially u think we'll atleast he or she is being honest but slowly this ends up becoming a habit. I personally believe that u can't just blame one person for such a relationship both parties are equally at fault. There's sumthing called " Classic Conditioning" in psychology which basically means u teach the mind how to behave. If sum1 insults you and u don't react to it then ur sending out the msg to his mind that its ok to do so. You have to set the ground rules rite from the start, don't take things that u won't be able to tolerate in the long run. And don't dismiss it as a one time incident which won't happen again. Trust me if u don't react it will happen again..There are so many sites online out there dedicated to Emotional Abuse and there are so many tests online as well. If you have the slightest fear that that's where ur relationship is headed then read abt it and fix it or get the hell out of it. This is sum stuff that I found online..

Aggressive abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised as “helping.” Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, probing, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances, however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental “I know best” tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships.

U can find a lot more of this info on : http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=168

Its been found that people who generally go thru emotional abuse are the ones who have low self-esteem and lack self- confidence. One of the reasons why I have been wanting to write abt this is because I have seen it very closely. A couple of my friends have gone thru it and sum1 in my own family is goin thru it ....And I have gone thru it. Personally I feel like if u hav been thru a relationship like this then take the time to work on ur self and don't jump into another relationship cos its very easy to repeat the same pattern. I know sum1 who's been in a series of Emotionally Abuse relationships only because she won't take the time to figure out wat is it that she's doing wrong. As I said I don't think its one person's fault. Unless and until u figure out wat u need to work on u'll keep attracting the same kind of people. And most importantly work on ur confidence and self esteem, the world is always trying to put u down anyways and when the person u luv puts u down then it becomes very difficult to stand up again. I think each and every one of us deserves to be luved for who we are but we have to believe that. Unless and until u really believe that its not gonna work out. Believe in yourself and don't be your own bully. And ALWAYS stand up for urself.

I think one of the reasons why I worked so hard in college was because I needed to prove to myself " That I can achieve watever I set my mind on" , " I am capable of being a sumbody". Trust me when I say this it worked wonders for my self confidence. I just hope that sum1 out there reads this blog and realizes that they deserve better. Trust me the whole purpose of writing this blog wud be served.....I know its difficult but u deserve better than that.