Confessions of a Bitch....

You know I hav always thought of myself as good human being but rite now I don't feel that good about myself. The bitch within me has just taken over. Its like a split personality- I don't like her and she doesn't like me either. She makes me do these things and then I feel guilty later.

I hav realized that I hav been justifying my actions in my head by sayin its Ok to be this way cos I hav been through a lota crap. But the thing is no matter how much crap u've been throught nuthin can justify u being a bad human being, period!!
Bad things happen to most of us but at one point u just hav to let go....

I have also realized that I judge people. I think most of us do. My problem is I end up lettin people know wat I think of them on their face. Also its not like I have lead a saint like life myself so who the hell am I to judge people. So I shudn't...I think I am gonna change this about myself.

I miss my friend I think I am trying to find him in people around me ..

I am at a crossroad in my life rite now - I hav to choose between fulfillment / satisfaction and money. This is like goin against everything I stand for. I have actually looked down at people who hav done this and I can't believe I am thinkin of doin it myself. Its not so much about greed rather its about my desire to be a sumbody. I don't want live a life of an anonymous person who nobody knew existed. I hav realised maturity has nuthin to do with age and everything to do with experiences u've had in life. One of the reasons my siblings are so mature 4 their age is cos they hav seen so much in life.

I just really need to get hold of the bitch within me b4 she completely take over..

I hav completely fallen in luv with this track by The Fray- How to save a life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

P.S - Just in case u r wonderin this song is about a guy trying to help his friend who's an addict